Don't Tell the Bat
by MyBatBoys
Summary: Sometimes the simplest night can turn on you in the blink of an eye Characters include: Nightwing, Robin, Dick Grayson, Tim Drake, Batman and Alfred


This oneshot is in response to Robin's National Panic Day challenge. I hope you enjoy.

**Disclaimer:** Don't own, nor make a profit off any characters in this story.

**Summary:** Sometimes the simplest night can turn on you in the blink of an eye.

* * *

_This story is AU where Tim first became Robin and began to train with Dick; Bane never broke Batman's back, and possibly the most important thing of all, Dick does not have a mullet. _

_Thank you, Kanny, my Bat Guru, for allowing your bunnies to come play with mine for a while, they work well with others. __-wink-_

* * *

_**Don't Tell the Bat**_

Slumping back against the large computer chair, Tim sighed and rubbed his tired eyes, _How long have I been at this now?'_ he thought and allowed himself to glance at the digital display at the bottom of the screen.

"Four and one quarter hour-- that's _all_?"' Tim sighed again and resumed the same position he'd been in for the last two hours, left elbow on the desk, side of his face squished in the palm of his hand as he continued studying the case files Bruce had instructed him to memorize.

He was just about to go upstairs and see if Alfred felt like making some hot chocolate, then turned with a smile as the distinct sound of a well-known motorcycle thundered throughout the cave.

"Dick! What are you doing here? I thought you were away with the Titans till next week."

Dick took off his helmet and smiled as he ran a hand through his hair, "Yeah, well, we finished up early, so I figured I'd stop by and– hey, how come you're not suited up yet?"

"Uh... because I'm not going out," Tim answered, raising his eyebrows, "Bruce is out of town, in Japan till the end of the week. You knew that."

"Yeah, I know." Dick answered matter-of-factly.

Silence settled between the two vigilantes as they stood, looking at each other, both waiting for the other to finish his reasoning.

Dick cocked his head to the side, furrowing his brow, "Right. So... uh-- why aren't you going out again?"

"You're kidding. Right?"

"Are you grounded?"

"No."

"Hurt?"

"No."

"...You're not sick, are you?" Dick asked placing the back of his hand to Tim's forehead.

"No!" Tim laughed, swatting Dick's hand away, "I'm not going out because Bruce isn't here. Haven't we gone through all this already?"

"Ah, Master Dick, you've arrived." Alfred said, walking into the room balancing a tray of finger sandwiches and lemon aide on the palm of his hand.

Tim looked between Dick and Alfred, "You knew he was coming?"

"Why of course I did, Timothy, as did Master Bruce." Alfred answered as he placed the tray down on a table, handing both of them a napkin. "Master Bruce is in Japan until the end of the week, and while we are all greatly pleased with the progress your making in training, you are not yet ready to go out on your own."

"I _know_ all that." Tim said, just about at the end of his patience, "How come no one told me?"

Alfred shrugged while placing sandwiches on a plate for each, "You did not ask."

"_Arugh!_"

Dick burst into laughter as Tim growled in frustration.

"That's not... you... you two deserve each other." Tim muttered under his breath, chomping down on his sandwich.

Dick grabbed a couple more finger sandwiches and handed one to Tim before capturing him in a head lock before dragging him off toward the changing room, "Cam'on, squirt, let's go suit up."

"Don't call me squirt."

"Ok-- junior."

"_Dick_..."

"Small-fry?"

"Cut it out!"

* * *

"Are you sure about this?" Robin asked wryly, looking around nervously at the Batmobile's interior. 

"Chill out, everything's cool. Besides, we couldn't take my bike. I didn't bring an extra helmet."

"Uh, I only have about _seven different_ helmets in the cave, you know."

"_Riiiiight_, right...must've slipped my mind." Nightwing answered as he turned off the Robert Kane Memorial Bridge and headed toward The Bowery.

Robin looked at Nightwing for a minute, "You're just full of it tonight, aren't you?"

"_Me?_" Nightwing asked with sincere innocence, placing a gloved hand to his chest, "Maybe it's you. Maybe you've gone stuffy... been hanging around with the Bat to long."

"Hey, I resent that!" Robin beefed as he shut his door and adjusted his cape.

"Good." Nightwing answered as he shot off a grapnel. "Maybe there's hope for you yet, kid."

_"Kid?"_ Robin squawked then shot off a line of his own and took chase after his younger mentor.

* * *

"Not a bad night... pretty productive. Wouldn't you say?" 

"Mm hmm," Robin agreed around a mouthful of his ice cream sandwich. "You guys always get free stuff?"

Nightwing shrugged, "Eh... not always, but most of the time. That is if the clerk's not too befuddled to say something before we drop some cash on the counter and tell em to keep the change, cause it'll take them at least five more minutes _after_ we leave for them to come around again."

"Heh... cool." Tim answered as he began to rummage through the center console then bent down and groped blindly under his seat.

"Uh... Tim?"

"...yeah?"

"What're ya doin'?"

"Looking for my Snicker's bar."

"Uh huh... well, would'ja mind waiting till we're off the bridge? Traffic's kinda tight."

"So slow down. I'm sure it wouldn't be a problem if you weren't going oh... say, 90 miles n hour. Besides, I'm hungry."

"A.) You're always hungry and B.) I can't slow down. Not if you ever expect to see me again."

"A.) You're being overly dramatic and B.) What are you even talking about?"

"It's Movie Night with the Titans and I talked them into postponing it about four hours so I could go on patrol with you. If I'm late, I'm dead– Hey. _Do.You.__Mind_" Dick inquired when his young partner began to dig between the driver seat and the console.

"Nope, not at– Yes! I got it!" Tim shouted, thrusting the candy bar triumphantly above his head... while knocking Dick's Gatorade bottle to the floor, "Oops."

"Smooth move, Rain Man." Dick grumbled as he took a quick peek to the floorboard, trying to see where it went. "Awww, _man_..."

"What?"

"Fantastic. It rolled behind the brake pedal."

"Hey, watch the road!" Tim shouted when Dick spent more time looking down than straight ahead, nudging the bottle with the toe of his boot out from behind the break pedal.

"I am. Chill out."

"Uhhh... hey, Dick? There's a whole bunch of cars up ahead and they're not moving."

Looking up briefly, Dick gave a grunt of acknowledgment then looked back down.

Tim scratched the side of his head and subconsciously began to brace himself, "Dick, if you don't slow down we're gonna crash."

"I _would_ slow down...if _some__-body_ hadn't got all spastic over a Snicker's bar and knocked my drink bottle behind the brake."

"Here, I'll get–"

"**No.** Don't even _think_ of unbuckling... _sonofabitch_ how tall _is_ this bastard anyway?"

"Six-three and you've got about twenty seconds before we crash."

"Tim, I know."

Rolling his eyes at Nightwing's snail's-pace of progress, Tim began to drum his fingers nervously on the arm rest, counting down the seconds, _"Don't freak. Don't freak. Don't freak...FREAK!"_ Tim had a momentary lapse of good sense after calculating their impact would be in T-minus three seconds and– "Got it!" Dick shouted just as Tim yanked on the emergency brake.

"Dammit, Tim!" Dick growled as he fought to regain control of the vehicle, now spinning out of control.

_"OhGodOhGodOhGod..."_ Tim whispered under his breath and squeezed his eyes shut as Dick did his best _not_ to hit any of the other cars on the bridge.

"...shit, shit, Shiiit!" He heard Dick shout a second before feeling the impact and winced as his ears were pierced by the horrific screeching of metal-on-metal.

"Are we dead?" he asked when he felt the Batmobile come to a sudden halt, clutching the door with one hand and the center console with the other.

"Not yet," Nightwing answered as he sat very still, watching the horizon rock back and forth. "Just.Don't– Move."

"...Don't move? Wha..." Tim let the rest of his sentence trail off when he finally opened his eyes and saw that they're hanging off the edge of the bridge. "_Oooh_– "

"Shit."

"Yeah. That– Um... besides not moving' what the hell're we gonna do?"

"It's fine. We're fine. Just... give me a minute."

"Fine. Right, okay... we're fine." Tim muttered under his breath, trying to talk himself into buying that last line.

_sskkeerrt_ "Nightwing."

Slowly turning to look at each other, Robin and Nightwing each paled slightly as Batman's voice came over the radio.

"Nightwing. Do you want to tell me why one of my vehicles is AWOL?"

"_Shh..._" Nightwing mouthed, his index finger raised to his lips, "Uh– hey, Bat...man. Um, what are you doing back?"

"Things wrapped up early. Care to answer the question?"

"Oh... yeah. Well, I told you I'd come to Gotham and take Robin out on patrol."

"And you took the Batmobile– why?"

_I __told__ you!'_ Tim mouthed, pointing an accusatory finger at him.

Dick scowled back, waving the finger away, "Because I rode my bike in and didn't bring an extra helmet."

"Uh huh... And I suppose it just so happened to slip your mind that Robin has no less than ten spare helmets in the suit vault."

"_Riiiiight..._ right. Yeah, it must have."

Robin thumped his head back against the head rest and rolled his eyes.

"sigh... What's your twenty?"

Nightwing swallowed hard, "Never mind, I'm bringing you up on the grid– Nightwing...why are you stationary on the Trigate Bridge...and why are you facing southwest... is the front third of the vehicle actually hanging off the side?"

"Um, ya see, heh-heh... there's a funny story bout that." Nightwing answered with a nervous laugh.

"Can it. I'm powering up the T-20. ETA in four minutes, 17 seconds."

"Roger that."

* * *

"Of all the _stupid_– " 

"You'd better be grumbling about yourself over there." Robin said while wringing out water from his cape.

_"Nooo_... I'm talking about that moron that decided to get a picture taken with him _leaning_ up against the back of the Batmobile." Nightwing grumbled as he tipped his head to the side in an effort to dislodge the water in his ear.

"Yeah, well, that's tourists for ya. So how mad do you think he's gonna be?" Robin asked as they began to climb their way up the side of the bank.

"Well, the Batmobile's at the bottom of Gotham River... he ain't exactly gonna be tickled pink. I can tell ya that much."

"Yeah but, that wasn't our fault."

"Wasn't it? Who decided to go on a wild safari after a candy bar?"

"Yeah? Well, who decided to go rocketing down the bridge _in heavy traffic_ going 90 miles an hour?"

"The speed at which I was driving wouldn't have even come into play if _some_one hadn't wigged out and yanked the emergency brake."

"We were gonna crash!"

"News flash, Tim. We did crash– _ouch!_ How bout making sure I'm _not_ directly behind you when you let go of a branch."

"Oh, gee. Did I get you? Sorry bout that."

"Think you're sorry now? Heh. Just you wait, we've got about another four feet to go before we hit level ground. I guarantee that I can outrun you."

"Promises... promi– _hurk_"

"What the hell do you thing your smirking at?" Nightwing sneered, after he and Robin were unceremoniously grabbed by the back of their suits and yanked the rest of the way up the bank.

"By the looks of it, two drowned birds." Answered Batman.

"sigh Whatever. Where's the chopper?"

"Stay here. I'll bring it over." Batman answered and walked off.

"Stay here... what's he talking about?" asked Tim.

Nightwing just shrugged and started working on getting the water out of his other ear when he got smacked in the arm by Robin about a minute later.

"Hey, Wing... check it out."

Nightwing glanced at his young partner then looked up to where he was pointing, "What– what the hell's he doing– _ack!_– Hey! How about turning off that spotlight and tossing down the ladder." Nightwing barked into his com-link.

"Negative. Fire off a suction line."

"Why not just drop down the ladder?" Nightwing countered, beginning to get real impatient with this whole ordeal.

"You're not coming in here, dripping wet. The two of you can ride outside and dry off."

"Ride outside?" Tim repeated in unbelief as the wind created by the powerful helicopter blades whipped their hair about. "He's kidding. Isn't he?"

"Dick stood still for a moment and looked up, shielding his eyes from the spotlight before looking back to Tim, blinking a couple times behind his mask before answering. "I-I'm not sure."

"Take it or leave it, boys. I don't have all night." Batman warned.

"I don't think he's kidding... oh crap, Dick!" Tim yelled and broke into a full run.

"Hey...Batman! Hold up!" Nightwing yelled into his com-link while sprinting off after the chopper and fired off his suction line.

"..._oouff!_" Robin wheezed after Nightwing's arm slammed into his chest, hauling him to his side as they flew through the air.

* * *

"Come ON already!" Nightwing growled, yanking on the door handle. 

"Definitely not kidding." Said Robin, standing on the rudder next to Nightwing and holding on tight to his retracted line.

Batman allowed the corner of his mouth to tug upward into a half smile as he took much enjoyment in listening to his older ally's growing frustrations about being denied access, and nodding to himself, decided that taking a few unnecessary dives and sharp swings on their flight back to the cave would add a nice touch to this illustrated example of cause and effect.  



End file.
